Hold My Heart: Letting It All Out to God (Job 7:12-20)

 “Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart?”

– Tenth Avenue North </3

left image from YouTube, right image taken in Animal Crossing

Dear woebegone weeper,

There, there, let it out in the open air… up to heaven’s air, figuratively. Tell God what you feel in all honesty.

If you’re not sad, I’m sure you have concerns. This is for you, too, because life is a harvest of lemons planted by the devil’s minions. How do you make lemonade? Don’t just Google or ask somebody. The first thing to do is pray to God for the recipe.

Continuing in the book of Job, let us look at how he laid out his questions to the Lord:

Job 7:12-20 (NASB)

¹² Am I the sea, or the sea monster,

That You set a guard over me?

¹³ If I say, ‘My couch will comfort me,

My bed will ease my complaint,’

¹⁴ Then You frighten me with dreams,

And terrify me by visions,

¹⁵ So that my soul would choose suffocation,

Death rather than my pains.

¹⁶ I waste away; I will not live forever.

Leave me alone, for my days are only a breath.

¹⁷ What is man that You exalt him,

And that You are concerned about him,

¹⁸ That You examine him every morning

And put him to the test every moment?

¹⁹ Will You never turn Your gaze away from me,

Nor leave me alone until I swallow my spittle?

²⁰ Have I sinned? What have I done to You,

Watcher of mankind?

Why have You made me Your target,

So that I am a burden to myself?

The paraphrase of Job’s first question in the text is “Am I savage that I have to be restrained?” He asks this to God because of all the calamities that came all at once to him.

Let me give a summary: In Chapter 1, his animals were taken, the servants taking care of them were killed, and his sons and daughters died from a great wind. In Chapter 2, he was struck with severe boils all over his body. In Chapter 4, Eliphaz tells him that he must have sinned and in Chapter 5, Eliphaz says that Job is being disciplined by God. In Chapter 6, Job says that the counsel of Eliphaz is a flavorless food that he wouldn’t touch (Adams). It’s no use to him because he didn’t do anything wrong, but if he did, he asks if he acted like a beast that he has to be guarded or like a criminal that he has to be penalized. In Chapter 7, Job says he has been suffering for months. His flesh is clothed with worms and his nightly dreams are nightmares.

His second question is asking why God is so concerned with man that He tests him all the time. If we look at verses 17 and 18 positively, it could be a question that marvels at how God takes special effort to write the drama of everyone’s life. Every person has a unique story. That’s why it’s like God is exalting man with all the storylines He’s come up with, with everything that occurs in our lives. He has written the script of each scene that will be acted out in our lives. Whatever reaction we have with the plot of the day, all that will happen, all the consequences are thoughtfully planned. He gave us freewill, though, so it’s up to us to choose what we do with life. What Job experienced is one monumental misery, so when we read the verses, it’s a question that came from hurting.

I was actually suffering a physical pain today, a pain in my broken tooth. I’d like to believe God did not plan for bad things like a mere toothache (though it’s too painful, it’s petty compared to Job’s grief) to happen in His creation’s life. It’s the devil who caused all the pain in the world, but it’s God who allows it to bring Him glory. Before I took a pain-relieving pill, I prayed that He would make it effective. It’s my way of reminding myself that it’s Him who truly heals through the medicine. You see, whoever invented Paracetamol did not create it on their own. All things come from God. The first reliever we must always consult is God. While I was waiting for the pill to work, I was in so much pain that I had to apply ice on it. My mom gave me a bag of ice, and that gesture made me think God must want me to realize my mom is caring. I know that, but it’s good to feel loved. When the pain was gone, I thanked Him. Some gain does come from pain.

Next, he asks if God won’t stop his suffering in verse 19. Then in verse 20, he asks what sin he committed and why he’s being targeted if not for some sin. Here’s where the title of this epistle comes in. The song “Hold My Heart” by Tenth Avenue North is a prayer asking God, “How long must I wait” and “Won’t You come close and hold my heart?” In the bridge, it says, “So many questions without answers.” That’s how Job is in the passage. To me, for God to hold one’s heart is like holding one’s hand for support, but since God isn’t physically going to hold our hands, He’s just going to hold our emotions together and keep us strong.

Let us come to God with everything we’re dealing with in life’s drama, whether someone we know has Coronavirus or we’re crowned with a figurative korona. That’s the Filipino word for crown. Come to Jesus not only when you’re in need, but come to Him when life is good; it’s because of Him, indeed. Whatever you are feeling, tell it to Him. He’ll comfort You or with you, He’ll rejoice. O how He loves to hear your voice!

With love,

Celina <3

References

Adams, S. (n.d.). Job 6. Job | Making Sense of Suffering. Westminster, California, United States of America: Through the Word.

Next: Yet Will I Trust In Him: Trusting God Over People (Job 13:7-16)

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